Burn Down Irregular Choice for Crimes against Fashion

In the quest to be ahead of the fashion flock we all sometimes make the odd mistake, I still cry when I think of the florescent orange mini skirt (with a zip up the front) I bought (and wore) out in '99 what the fuck was I thinking, maybe I was going for that ironic hooker chic or maybe I was just plain WRONG, much like IRREGULAR CHOICE they have somehow managed to commit some of the worst crimes against footwear and still charge nearly a tonne for their vile wares.

I first caught a sight of this make in Chiswick (not the most fashionable area of London, I admit). I tried on a pair of supposed size 7 stripy gold and black jester-esque boots, but at 80 squids I left these tiny pretties for someone else. The next day I find myself in Hammersmith’s TK Maxx (cause I frequent only go to the trendiest/ hippest shops in London) and saw the most ugly fembrogs in the world, how could this be possible, I have never uttered those two words in the same sentence before. I wanted to rip my eyeballs out/ rock in the shower scrubbing away the ghastly sight. I only had my crappy nokia to document this brog nightmare but the pics do not do them justice, so I will endeavour to describe them to you

1^st as wide as two hands put together side by side

2^nd turned up at the toe so much I could fit 4 fingers between the floor and the front of the sole

3^rd they were tope and tan, yuk yuk yuk,

4^th they had a massive great big fraying cord bow (for ornamental purposes)

and 5^th they were the same shape as a sponge you wash cars with, umm flattering, they would really make a calf look as long and slender as a pointy stiletto, or not.

So today I decided to find these brogs on the Irregular Choice website and couldn’t, instead I found more pairs of even more ugly fembrogs. Words now fail me, just look slash gawp slash exfoliate your eye sockets.

sam